21. Various places in Northumberland
       May 3^rd - 9th

Since I last wrote I have stayed a few more days on the north Northumberland coast. In hindsight, I think it was a mistake, as I have become bored, stale and grumpy and haven't felt like blogging. It's just too rural and the weather has been poor. I lived in the very rural West of Ireland for ten years, and I think that provided me with enough peace and quiet (and bad weather) to last me for a while. While I enjoy the countryside, I'm not really a country person; I don't enjoy walking for its own sake, for example, and I usually cycle to get somewhere, not for the sake of it. I think my ideal situation is on a quiet rural site near an interesting town.
 
Incredibly, last night I had the dreaded 'A' Level nightmare again, perhaps to mark the 50^th anniversary of my taking my exams. It's only once or twice a year, but it still shatters me. I'm sitting in front of an 'A' level paper and can't do any of it and I know it's because I haven't done any studying. That's all there is to it, nothing comes before and nothing follows, but it's really horrible.

On the way up to Berwick (again) I passed through Bamburgh, where there is a wonderful castle. In the rare moments of sunshine it glows orangey pink. It's like Berwick – best seen from a distance. From a distance it sits glowering out to sea, saying “I'm watching here and nothing will happen that I can't handle”. It's truly impressive. Up close, however, (and you get very close to it as you pass through the village), it's just a mountainous pile.


I don't have a lot more to say, I'm afraid, because I don't enjoy the seaside any more. I spent many happy hours there when I was a child and later with my own children but now I feel sad on a beach and can't wait to get away.
 
So, I'll talk instead about films. “Oh no,” I hear you say, “he's going to go off on a rant again.” Well, before I say anything, please remember that I defended “Blade Runner” when it was first released to general scorn and that of the critics and said it was a great film before it was finally accepted and attained cult status. See, so there. After much searching I found a cheap copy of the DVD of “AI – Artificial Intelligence” in HMV and watched it this week. I had seen it twice before and thought it enjoyable and essentially good, but now I'm sure it's great. This was confirmed when I found a “Kermode Uncut” page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/posts/AI-Apology) where the film critic Mark Kermode, who is a bit conceited but whose opinions I respect, apologised to Spielberg about having criticised the film on its release. He described it as Spielberg's 'enduring masterpiece'. Please watch it as soon as possible; you won't be disappointed. And it co-stars a walking, talking teddy bear. Could it get any better?
 
I won't mention “Gattaca” to-day.

I'm back again at Berwick to-day, having had hardly a good word to say for the place last time. Now, though, the sun is out, a watery, breezy sun, but a sun nevertheless. I'm sitting outside reading and looking down at the mouth of the Tweed and I can feel my mojo returning. I have seen a great number of beagles, which I love, in Northumberland. We used to call them 'laughing dogs' because they seem to have a smile on their face. I've also seen several Bedlington terriers, which are like big poodles with a streamlined head and are named after the small former mining town of Bedlington in south Northumberland. Bedlington is also the home of a football team called Bedlington Terriers, who were the subject of a nice little film on Film 4 a couple of years ago called “Mr Rich and the Terriers” about the club being adopted by an American millionaire industrialist. It all seemed very hopeful, but when I looked to-day the “Club History” section of the website doesn't mention Mr Rich and the club is advertising for a manager and a sponsor, having finished 20^th out of 23 in the Northern League. Sadly, fairy tales rarely come true in non-league football these days. You can see a Bedlington terrier on the club badge.

 
The site here is wonderfully infested with blackbirds and I've been watching a pair foraging for worms and grubs in the grass just outside the door of the van. I've mention them before, but these birds fascinate me. They seem to be have real character and great humour and, of course, their singing is magical. This reminded me, and cheered me up a lot after the horrible 'A' Level nightmare, that I had to do a critique of R S Thomas's poem 'A Blackbird Singing' unseen for my 'S' Level English paper in 1964. Here it is:-

It seems wrong that out of this bird,
Black, bold, a suggestion of dark
Places about it, there yet should come
Such rich music, as though the notes'
Ore were changed to a rare metal
At one touch of that bright bill.You have heard it often, alone at your desk
In a green April, your mind drawn
Away from its work by sweet disturbance
Of the mild evening outside your room.

A slow singer, but loading each phrase
With history's overtones, love, joy
And grief learned by his dark tribe
In other orchards and passed on
Instinctively as they are now,
But fresh always with new tears.

 

      Our English master, 'Ger' Davies, was a great fan of R S Thomas, who was an Anglican vicar and a hardline Welsh

      nationalist. A fantastical Celt, Davies despaired of us plodding Saxons and once said, unforgettably:-

You are cabbages, cabbages, rotting in the thick Sussex clay

 

The man was a poet himself, don't you think?

Cycled in to Berwick, but walked once I got into town. I did actually see two live cyclists to-day (I've seen plenty of dead ones flattened on the road or festooning hedges) but it's not cycling country this. Worse, the traffic system in Berwick is a complete mystery to me. I suspect there is a one-way system, but the council seem to be economising by not displaying any road signs. The system, then, may be “anyone vehicle can drive in any direction on any road and on any side of the road”. The evidence of my eyes certainly suggests this. I very nearly got cleaned-out twice by cars coming towards me in a narrow street that I had thought one-way and had to dive up on to the pavement.

 

Now, you're not to worry now or feel fearful, nauseous or faint, but I bought a pair of cycling shorts. I read on a cycling forum that they would change my life. Certainly something was already changing my life, because recently I've been suffering badly in the nether regions and have begun to walk like John Wayne. I say you're not to worry because I shall always wear them under ordinary shorts or trousers, so passers-by will be spared the horror. I found them very uncomfortable when I sat down in them and had decided to take them back, but then noticed the assistant in Halford's had left the security tag (the big, thick plastic disc) in. Phew!

Lots of bluebells around now, but I haven't seen a proper bluebell wood yet. If you see a really dense show it looks just like smoke on water. There used to be one I saw every weekday next to the main London/Brighton railway line between Three Bridges and Gatwick Airport when I used to commute from Sussex. For just a couple of weeks each year it was worth the journey. Funnily enough, just as I finish typing this they are talking about bluebells on 'Gardener's World'!