Kipper Junction, Alloa

CC site
May 16^th - 17^th

Pleasant drive, thirty-five miles, along the north bank of the Forth towards Stirling. Past Rosyth, where part of two giant aircraft carriers, each costing over £3 billion, are being built to maintain Britain's position as a major world power. In opportunity cost terms, they represent 5,000,000 hospital bed days (I made that up, but you get the idea).



The Ochil Hills

The site is at Fishcross, known locally as 'Kipper Junction', next door to Sauchie, the birthplace of Alan Hansen, and just outside Alloa. Settled in, had a cat nap and then cycled in to Alloa along a dedicated cycle path. A word to the wise. Don't go there. The view of the Ochil Hills, 700 metres high, from the site is stunning. I guess this is compensation if you live in Alloa, a view of the lovely Ochil Hills. In the centre of Alloa are a giant Tesco Extra, a giant Asda, a giant Morrison's, an Aldi and a Lidl and the town is just a vast supermarket car park and otherwise dead. This is total madness. It's a small place (25,000 population) which has been taken over by supermarkets. What were the planners thinking of? Surely they must have been taking kick-backs. Alloa was where Skol lager was invented. I'll say no more. Well, move on, move on.
The talk of Heavy yesterday reminds me of Billy Connelly's wonderful turn at the Secret Policeman's Ball.
Two Celtic supporters go to Rome for a football match. Afterwards, they go out for a night on the town. Entering a bar they order two pints of Heavy. The barman doesn't understand, so one asks him 'What does the Pope drink?' 'Creme de Menthe' he answers. 'Right, Jimmy', he says to the barman, 'gie us two pints of that'. After drinking seven pints apiece they become unconscious and awake later, sitting in a shop doorway and covered in diced carrots (here Connelly embarks on one of his peerless digressions). One says to the other 'Jesus, if that's what the Pope drinks no wonder they carry him around in a litter'.

Walking through the town I passed a low, dark, single-fronted pub with, outside it taking a wheeze on a fag, two very drunk, very feral-looking men. There was also a sign on the pavement saying “Nae numpties admitted”. I was going to go in, but decided against, in case I proved to be a numpty. Pity, as I was looking forward to the intelligent conversation which I'm sure was the norm inside.

On Saturday I was very tired and stiff after what had been a long bike ride the previous day (probably about fifteen miles and very hilly, but I can't be sure as my bike computer had gone mad again). I pulled myself together, however,and got the bus to Stirling. £7.20 return! Thank God for the bus pass. £7.20! A pretty bus ride, with chestnut trees in full bloom and lots of spectacular rhodedendrons and azaleas everywhere, both in gardens and in the woods along the way. While waiting for the bus at Fishcross, I noticed that the Ochil View pub used to be the Miners' Welfare Institute. This used to be coal mining area.

Stirling was great, really alive and kicking and with a very complex and steep layout and a very nice restored arcade. Sadly, I didn't stay long, as I wasn't feeling quite the ticket, but I stayed long enough to see the Old Stirling Bridge, built in around 1550 close to the site of the older (wooden) Stirling Bridge where the Scots under William Wallace defeated the English army in 1297. I also saw the charming Stirling University, set on a campus with beautifully landscaped gardens, ornamental lakes and some very handsome modern buildings. The place had a really pleasant atmosphere. 

Old Stirling Bridge

Interesting plaque in Stirling

I also saw a pub called, intriguingly, the Curly Coo. I also saw some Highland cattle on the way back, so maybe that's what they mean by Curly Coos. I also saw a field of both sheep and lambs and cattle and calves and, among them, a calf lying down with a bull. Never seen that before.

Went into Alloa on my way to my next stop and filled-up with diesel. Went past Alloa Athletic football ground. The trailing letter “a” had fallen off the sign on the wall outside the ground, so that you got a nice greeting from “Allo Athletic”. Much friendlier.